The Universe never gives up on us, despite what we might believe to be evidence to the contrary. Take my story for example; here I was locked into a situation that was leading me nowhere near to my potential. After the economic meltdown as a self-employed person my ability to make things happen to provoke change and movement in my life all but disappeared, and that fact kept me in a relationship that was anything but good for me. Oh, it did keep a roof over my head, and it did allow me the freedom to meditate on a daily basis (something that can get swept under the rug when I’m too occupied with making ends meet). And that’s about where the benefits of the relationship ended. Everything else about it was detrimental to my health and personal growth, after all it’s not fun living with someone who simply doesn’t ‘get’ you and has no inclination to work at making things better. But somehow I had resigned myself to the situation, and it was killing me.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.” – Joseph Campbell
So, long story short – one day as I was sitting in my office, it occurred to me that I was profoundly off-track. It’s funny how these types of realizations can come at you, for me it was a Facebook post by a friend quoting Joseph Campbell – naturally pertaining to ‘follow your bliss’, a sentiment I’d forgotten to incorporate into my life somewhere along the way. A light bulb went off in my head … and I realized that I was the only person blocking myself from following my bliss, but I still couldn’t see how I was going to make the necessary leap, so I called out to the Universe, “Please put me back on my bliss path.” And, I meant what I said.
Apparently, the Universe was having a slow day because my call was picked up on the first ring – that turned out to be a mixed blessing. My life immediately crumbled. Less than a week later my roommate of 8 years (for lack of a better reference) came home reeking of perfume, and although I put myself in denial for about month, it eventually dawned on me that it was time to get packed. So, after a few panic attacks, pack I did. Within three months I was able to put together the resources I needed to make a new start (thanks in no small part to a new client who ‘miraculously’ appeared in my inbox).
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
All of that was not without a hefty dose of personal therapy. For several weeks I ranted and raved, I cried, I panicked (all in the privacy of my own space). And all through that process I was able to break through every barrier I had put up over the previous years, barriers that were keeping me locked in an unhealthy situation. In essence, I reclaimed my power. Though, maybe I was a bit shaky out of the starting gate, like a child relearning to walk – I still had the feeling that the Universe had my back on this one.
Mixed blessings came into play again when on a Thursday I got word that I was approved to move into the house I’d found (despite the fact that all odds were against such a thing), which meant that I had to put my ancient companion dog down (he was much too feeble to make a move), something I was not looking forward to one bit. So, just as I’d resigned myself to doing that, and barely emerging on the other side –grief stricken but knowing it was time, my brother called from two states over to tell me my dad had collapsed and by all appearances, would be making his own transition within 24 hours. Great. Here I was halfway through the final packing phase, with movers coming in the morning – and there was no way I could do anything other than keep following my original game plan: get moved.
The Universe wasn’t just supporting me, it was full on driving me to make this change – and it was clear there would be no looking back. As bad as it was to lose my dad and not be able to rush to his bedside in his last hours, or to offer real time emotional support to my brother, it was imperative that I maintain course. It was a weird coincidence that the only perceivable cushion even remotely available to me, given the circumstances of my life – to help sustain me financially while I got my feet under me, would be an inheritance. Mixed blessings.
A couple months later and I’m settled into my ‘new’ home. My routine has calmed down, and no more major life changes have snuck up on me, so now I find I’m turning my attention to my heart center. One day I’m wondering what it would take to get that going again. Regardless of the fact that I’ve meditated on a daily or twice daily basis for years now, it just seemed apparent that my heart center remained closed. For all of my other chakras – or energy centers, I could feel some sensation of life, but my heart felt like a deep dark vacuum. I knew this had to do with the situation I’d just emerged from, but I felt like I was really ready to open my heart again – to get back in the flow of unconditional Love – for everyone and everything. So, naturally I called out to the Universe – I know, hadn’t I learned my lesson yet? – and I asked what it would be like to have an open heart again, what would it take? And suddenly – I mean within days, a man appeared on my radar.
Just to keep this on the level, he came to me – practically appeared on my doorstep. And although I knew from the first moment that this was just a test of some kind (after all, I was very conscious of the fact that I’d invited the Universe to show me what I needed to know), what transpired for me was phenomenal. You may want to hear all of the juicy details, but seriously there are none. What did happen was that over the course of a few weeks, and a couple very innocent encounters – my heart began to open. I mean really open, like a rose bud springing to life in the full sun. Although I tried to reason my way out of the feelings I had in my chest – seriously; heart-opening feelings, nothing more, nothing less – I couldn’t make logical sense of the situation, other than that the Universe had put this man not just on my path, but smack dab in the center of it – so that my heart would open. And it did. And when that was accomplished, the man essentially went away.
So, now my heart is singing, and not only that but I’ve found a flow of gratitude that just won’t quit. Gratitude for my home, for my father’s contribution to my life, for being brought back from the dead (or more accurately – the undead), and now for having an open heart. It felt wonderful! Then one day I was wondering what it would take to connect my whole body to this inflowing feeling of unconditional Love. So, I thought about Aphrodite (the Greek goddess generally associated with love, beauty, pleasure and procreation). To me Aphrodite is the essence of what it means to anchor spiritual energy into the physical form, and I’m not talking just about sexual energy, I’m talking about unconditional love that infuses the physical.
And, another man appeared on my radar. This one, a bit more grounded to the earth, but accepting of me in such a way that I could share all of my nonordinary experiences; a situation of unconditional acceptance. This allowed me to break down more barriers and belief systems I’d been harboring for too long. Primarily the belief that people would automatically reject me because of my extraordinary way of viewing the world, as had been my experience for much too long.
Somehow this sense of acceptance made it possible for me to tap into the heart force I believe to be in alignment with Aphrodite. Heart centers are usually associated with the color of green, and the color I’ve now come to associate with grounding spiritual energies into the physical form (through this experience) is brilliant emerald green – and it’s Aphrodite. It’s ancient, it’s new and it’s nonordinary but at the same time, it is so powerful it has the ability to capture nonordinary energies and translate them into physical sensations; like a shower of unconditional love on the inside. Sensations of communing with another at the nonphysical level; comingling energies that resonate in bliss, ecstasy and a profound sense of connection. And, now I have an ability – the ability to connect at the nonphysical level with people I am close to, an extraordinary ability and a gift. Once this gift of awakening was accomplished, the man disappeared from my life.
The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature. – Joseph Campbell
All paths lead toward joy if you can keep your heart open through the process, and that has been the theme of my new life so far. Now, I know I’m walking a new path – my true path not only towards bliss but enfused with bliss and it has to do with the sacred feminine. It about having the power to live outside the norms of the world in ecstatic pursuit of all things good, things that bring a higher level of energetic vibration to my life, and in some way – to the lives of everyone I meet, think about or encounter along the way.